Disillusioned dentist Ali Nawaab hopes to become a stand-up comedian but his attempts to find a voice on stage are hampered by memories of his blonde American muse, Ellie Goldsmith. Driven mad to the point of distraction by love, Ali must confront and exorcise the ghosts of his past in order to make his mark.
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Apartment concierge Cesar is a miserable person who believes he was born without the ability to be happy. As a result, he decides his mission is to make life hell for everyone around him. A majority of the tenants are easy to agitate, but Clara proves to be harder than the most. So Cesar goes to creepy extremes to make this young woman mentally break down. Things get even more complicated in this twisted relationship when her boyfriend, Marcos, shows up.
Martin Freeman is lovelorn teacher Mr Maddens, a former am-dram star whose girlfriend (Ashley Jensen) dumped him over Christmas five years ago and upped sticks, inexplicably, to La-La Land. Yuletide cheer is not his forte, but he’s forced to drum some up when Pam Ferris’s headmistress earmarks him to direct the Nativity play.
In the year 3000, the deep space salvage ship Mother III locates the vanished starship Demeter in the Carpathian System. Captain Abraham Van Helsing and his crew composed of the blonde assistant Aurora Ash; the crippled navigator Arthur “The Professor” Holmwood, who believes that he is a genius; the strong and dumb Humvee; the intern Mina Murry; and the drug addicted 187, decide to claim the possession of Demeter. While exploring the spacecraft, they see a tape of fifty years ago of Captain Varna telling that he was locked in his cabin since his crew was acting weird after getting a cargo of coffins in Transylvania station. When 187 decides to search in the coffins for some possible hidden dope, he cuts his hand and his blood awakes Count Orlock, a.k.a. Count Dracula. When Aurora discloses who Dracula is, the survivors try to find a way to destroy the vampire.